Wacky Wednesday! If My Cat Were Bigger, Would He Kill Me?

Q: If my cat, who is a gentle house cat, suddenly became as big as a lion, would he kill me?

A: That depends on a lot of factors like age, activity level, if he’s neutered, how he plays with you, his personality, and your bond.

If he’s young, and very exuberant about play, and is serious about his aggression toward toys, then it’s a possibility. If he was taught (or not corrected—gently and positively—when he has attacked your leg or something) when young that human hands or other body parts are toys, then the answer is almost certainly yes.

I actually use this example as a thought experiment a lot when I’m talking about why big cats do not make good pets. Think about a young cat, maybe a year old. At that age, you can see how intent the kitty is about attacking and “killing” a toy, which is a thing it just perceives as being something fun to maul, not even real prey. Then imagine that he was the size of a medium-sized dog, and ask yourself what kinds of things he might think look like fun things to attack. A little kid would be fun sized then. Then imagine the kitty is the size of a tiger, and you should get it right away. It would be a disaster for everyone.

Make no mistake, there are fundamental differences (at the genetic level) between domestic cats and wild cats (big and smallish). Domestic cats have changes on genes dealing with aggression and learning. They are less aggressive and are able to learn more and learn faster than their wild cousins.

However, older cats, especially neutered cats over the age of 7 or 8, wouldn’t necessarily pose a deadly risk if you magically scaled them up. By that time, they don’t see you as a plaything (again, unless you have encouraged them to play with your hand or not corrected them—gently and positively—when they have attacked you), and are usually more interested in naps, food, watching Cat TV (AKA the window), and other things.

Q&A: Are Cats Underrated or Misunderstood?

Q: Are cats the most underrated pet?

A: I don’t think they are underrated per se, but they are the most misunderstood pets. When you regularly hear veterinarians and other animal experts repeating myths about cats, it is a sign that those of us who have dedicated our lives studying the little floofy predators have our work cut out for us.

I’ve had to correct my cats’ veterinarians on several points. Most don’t take kindly to being corrected, and that’s how you know it’s time to find a new vet. (Pro tip: that’s also how you know you need to find a new anything. Those who are not curious and eager to learn more about their area of expertise, and are comfortable in their ignorance, should never be trusted with matters of any importance.) Thankfully, the vets we have now are always interested in new findings, and we share information we come across and discuss it.

Common misunderstandings

  • Many people think cats are solitary by nature. This isn’t true. They are solitary hunters (they hunt small prey, usually only enough of a meal for one, although some males do bring larger or excess kills to the colony for the kittens and lactating females), but they form matriarchal colonies, and have very complex social hierarchies and territorial rules. Cats have best friends, and it can be another cat, a human, a dog, or another animal.
  • Some people think cats are aloof, when in fact they are merely wary of people they don’t know. Kittens and young cats are much more focused on play, and are not generally into cuddling. As the cat ages, and its bond with you grows stronger, it will begin to seek out more physical contact and become more cuddly.
  • People are always wanting to compare cats with dogs. I’ve explained before why this is fallacious reasoning at best, I still see people beating this horse that isn’t even dead, it’s mythical. It makes no more sense than comparing a shark to an octopus.

I could write a book on the subject. But if you read this blog, hopefully we can dispel most of the myths about cats.

Is there a myth about cats that you’d like us to cover? Leave a comment below, or email us at stories(at)littlecatdiaries(dotcom)!

Q&A: Itchy Ears

Q: My cat is scratching her ears raw? What do I do?

A: You really do need to take her to the vet. If she’s scratching that much, this isn’t going to clear up on its own. However, the solution is likely going to be fairly cheap (at least it is in the U.S. for most things that cause itchy ears in cats). And your poor kitty will get relief from what is clearly a very uncomfortable situation.

I don’t know about you, but I would rather have moderate pain (like scratches) than a maddening itch, especially if the itch is somewhere I can’t get to (like your kitty’s inner ear). Itching is #2 on my list of most aggravating physical sensations (#1 is restless legs, arms, hips, shoulders, etc.).

Make sure to ask your vet about proper ear care for your cat.

Common causes of itchy ears in cats:

  • Parasites Ear mites are nasty critters that live off of dead skin cells and ear wax. They can spread to other kitties in the home, so it’s important to treat them as soon as possible. You’ll see a black buildup that looks like ground coffee in the cat’s ears. Other types of mites, fleas, and ticks are also common parasites that cause itchy ears.
  • Hematoma If there is a swollen, red bump in the cat’s ear, it may be a hematoma. A hematoma occurs when a blood vessel in the ear ruptures. This can not only be itchy, but it’s also painful. So, if your cat doesn’t want you touching his/her ear, this could be the cause. This can be caused by a number of things, but repeated infections and ear mites can make this more likely. This is a fairly easy thing for a vet to take care of, and if it’s treated soon enough, your cat may avoid having scar tissue.
  • Ear Infection If you notice that your cat’s ear canal looks red, swollen, and has discharge, then this is a likely culprit. Ear infections are as uncomfortable and painful for cats as they are for humans. Your vet will check to see if your cat’s infection is from bacteria or yeast, and will be able to prescribe medication to clear it up.
  • Allergies Whether your cat is allergic to you (yes, that can happen), your laundry detergent, or something else, this can cause the ears to get itchy. Allergy meds should help clear that up, as well as eliminating things one by one in your cat’s environment to try to pinpoint the issue.
  • Foreign Bodies Whether it’s a bit of feather or fluff, or something harder, foreign bodies in the ears can cause pain and irritation that will make your cat scratch its ear.
  • Aural Masses Polyps, tumors, and other things can give cats the same sensation as a foreign body lodged in the ear. It’s very important to get these checked out.

It’s very important that, no matter the cause, you should get your cat’s itchy ears checked out. Leaving it to see if it will clear up on its own could cause permanent damage to your cat’s hearing and health, and in some cases, it can lead to death. Don’t take chances. See your vet ASAP!

Good luck! I hope you can get her in soon.

Q&A How to Pet a Cat

Q: Okay, I know this is a stupid question, but can you tell me the best way to pet a cat?

A: This is not a stupid question at all. It might seem like an absurdly easy question to answer, but I have seen people pet their cats the wrong way for decades. Every cat is different on physical interaction, and each should be treated as an individual.

To learn how to bond with a kitten who isn’t interested in petting and cuddling, see this article: Q&A: How do I get my kitten to like petting?

There are some major factors and minor factors that generally determine how a particular cat likes to be petted. Some of the major ones are:

  • Personality Is it an affectionate kitty, or a little more standoffish? Is it skittish or bold? There are several personality traits that will determine how the cat will prefer to carry out physical contact.
  • Mood Hyper, angry, or otherwise perturbed cats generally don’t like to be touched.
  • Age Kittens don’t generally enjoy it unless they are veeery sleepy, and even then, there’s a limit. As the cat grows older, and your bond grows stronger, cats usually get more and more cuddly and affectionate as they get older.
  • Health Injury Old age, pain, discomfort, or other health issues can determine whether or not a cat wants to be touched.

General rules:

  • When attempting to get to know any cat, you should start with simple offering the back of your hand for it to rub against. Bolder, more mature, more affectionate cats will usually take you up on the offer. Let the cat pet your hand, not the other way around.
  • Most cats do not enjoy full-body strokes, so never pet a cat you don’t know well using large strokes along the back.
  • Even if the cat rolls over, do not go for the belly unless you know the cat well. Unlike dogs, when cats roll on their backs, it does not mean, “Rub my belly!” It generally means, “I like you! I feel good!” People who are more used to dogs are therefore left flabbergasted when a cat becomes peeved when they try to go in for a belly rub. If you think the cat might enjoy a belly rub, start with some gentle chest scratches. Most cats like that.
  • Keep the petting to small strokes and rubbing of the head, chin, and neck. You could also try for a gentle cheek rub. The best way to initiate the first attempt at a cheek rub, try presenting a knuckle in front of the cheek (not to the side, you want the cat to be able to see its proximity to its cheek), and let the cat rub against it at their leisure, so they are the ones in control.

WARNING Signs If you see any of the following behaviors, stop petting immediately and look somewhere other than at your cat:

  • Cat watching your hand
  • Ears flattened to the side or back
  • Love Nips (small bites not meant to hurt, just to say, “Stop doing that!”)
  • Growling or hissing
  • The cat’s skin gets twitchy where you’re petting it
  • Tail twitching or swishing quickly

The good signs are fairly obvious: the cat keeps coming back for more, kitty starts purring, or curls up in your lap, rolls over, or otherwise seems completely blissed out.

Q&A: Do cats have language?

Q: Why does my cat understand so many of the words that I say and I understand almost none of his vocalizations?

A: There are a lot of factors at play here, so if you want a TLDR answer, you’re out of luck.

First, some basics:

Some cats are smarter than other cats. And there is a lot we don’t know about animals and cognition. And because cats in particular can’t be bribed reliably with food or a toy, it’s often difficult to do some classical kinds of tests to study how they think, so the research we do have on cats is severely slanted toward cats who are empathetic (they understand that you want something from them, and they want to please you) and very smart (they understand that you want something from them, and that makes them curious about it). So there is a lot we just don’t know about how they think.

But there are several things we do know. I’m up with new research on cats and cognition, and it’s some amazing stuff.

So here are some basic factors that will change how much of your language your cat understands and how much of his language there is to understand.

Some cats are more vocal than others. Cats that were strays or feral for their formative years (before age 2), will likely never meow. Meowing is a holdover from kittenhood, when it was important for them to vocalize when they were hungry, in danger, etc. because they don’t have control over the classic ways cats communicate (body language and scent). Once older kittens realize that these vocalizations work on humans too, they have made the connection, and will likely meow at least a little when they want something.

There are generally three types of cats: talkers, non-talkers, and learned talkers.

Non-talkers are cats who either don’t vocalize at all or vocalize very little. A cat that doesn’t really vocalize much isn’t likely to be putting much thought into it other than the fact that you sometimes do a particular thing if he makes a noise.

Talkers, like Burmese, can vocalize a lot. I have an Abyssinian-Burmese, Kikiyo, who will carry on entire conversations with me, and she has actual words for several things. She has a large vocabulary. Kiki has words that are very like our words. For instance, I call my daughter “Bonna”, and Kiki calls her “Waah’Wah”, my daughter calls me “Mom” and Kiki therefore calls me “Waaw”, outside is “Aw-Why” and so on. So, since she is a very talkative cat, and listens to us, and understands hundreds of human words, she does often have words that are similar-sounding to ours. But some of her words sound nothing like our words. She has at least 10 words for different kinds of water. She has a word for water in a cup (Awak – the k is almost silent, it’s like a glottal stop), water in a glass bowl (Araah), water in a plastic bowl (Araaaaaya – she doesn’t like it in a plastic bowl, so this comes with a fussy tone), and the water in the fountains (Nawa – her favorite).

I’ve only been documenting her language for the past two years. Before I became disabled, I worked a lot, so I didn’t spend as much time at home. I knew she had some words and names, but it’s only recently that I’ve really appreciated how much of an effort she makes to communicate.

There are talkers who only say a few things, but they are meaningful to the cat. Sometimes it’s not so much about words, but about the tone.

We talk to our cats a lot. That, I think, is a big factor in how much a cat predisposed to vocalize a lot builds an actual vocabulary. Our 8-year-old male was a stray for his formative years, and he just recently started meowing a bit.

Learned talkers, who are generally very smart, and were raised from kittenhood with a talker cat, learn the importance of verbal communication with humans. So it’s a learned behavior. They don’t talk as much, but they can learn what works on humans. So it’s mimicry. Our 2-year-old (his birthday was January 27th) mimic is a smarty pants. He’s the smartest cat I’ve ever known. And he does want to communicate, so he borrows words from the 11-year-old. So it’s part nature, part nurture.

So, to sum up and answer your question, if you talk to your cat a lot, and your cat makes all kinds of conversational sounds at you, it may be that he does have at least a rudimentary language. Try to keep notes if you aren’t sure.

Most cats usually understand several words we say, especially ones that are most important to them, like treat, food, walk (if you walk your cat). play, bed time, etc.

Some cats understand a whole lot more of our language than you might think. They are also able to process both the word you are saying and the way in which you are saying it, so simply saying in a light, chirpy voice that it’s bath time will still send your cat running to hide under the bed.

Q&A: What to Do When Kitty Stops Using the Litter Box

Q: My cat stopped using the litter box. What do I do?

A:  This is a problem I’m thoroughly familiar with, so this is going to be as detailed as possible because anyone who owns a cat, or is thinking of owning a cat, needs to learn how to think like a cat. Too many cats are euthanized every day in this country because people don’t want to take the time to work with the animal and gain a deeper understanding of their furry friend, which can lead to a much deeper connection that will benefit everyone involved.

Part One: Know What You Know, and Know When That Knowledge Isn’t Enough

Congratulations! Step one is already done. If you don’t know what to do, ask for help. You’ll probably get tons of different advice, and that’s a good thing, because there are so many different reasons that cats might display a single behavior. The worst thing a kitty caretaker can do is approach any problem as if there is only one way to solve it, and if that doesn’t work, they give up and declare the cat a lost cause. This is rarely ever the case. I have yet to meet a lost cause kitty. Cats are complex beings, just like people. And you can’t just sit down with a family therapist to talk it out. So, how do we figure this out?

Before we go any farther, you need to take your cat to the vet. There is a very good chance that this is due to a physical problem. Spaying/neutering, if not already done, should be your first order of business. There can be any number of health-related causes. Cats often don’t show any outward signs of pain or illness, and when they do, it often appears as what seems like odd, aberrant behavior to the observing humans. If your cat is suddenly acting differently, especially with litter habits, something is wrong. Pain (a hurt paw, UTI, constipation, or even just a bit of litter digging into the paw) is a leading cause of this type of behavior.

If you have a new cat that has never used the litter box, skip to Part Four: Solutions.

Part Two: Work Out the Timeline of Events Before and During the Problem

The second step is to try to work out the initial trigger for the behavior. This won’t always work, but the closer you can get to the reason, the faster you’ll get results. What was going on around the first time the cat didn’t use the litter box? The obvious place to start is: what changed? Cats know when we’re stressed, they know when we’re sick, and major disruptions in the household can cause the cat’s sense of security to falter, and that leads to problematic behavior. Other indicators of this could be a change in personality (is s/he more needy or standoffish? Is s/he displaying more sensitivity to noise, people coming and going, or showing signs of aggression or fear?).

If that doesn’t seem to be the case, try to think of something that may have startled or scared the cat while it was using the litter box: another pet, a loud noise (passing truck, someone shouting, a dog barking, etc.), the smell of another animal (if you’ve got cats outside, the cat inside will be able to smell any marking that’s going on around the perimeter of the house, you may also have tracked in some animal scent), or seeing another animal from a window or doorway. Third, a dirty litter box; all of these things can create a negative association with the litter box. Sometimes there is no clear answer, so you have to do some detective work.

Part Three: Gather Data

1. Where is the cat doing its business? Are there one or two consistent spots, or is it all over the place?

  • If s/he has a few spots he likes, figure out why those spots are significant to him/her. For example, interior doorways (bedrooms, halls, etc.) are places of power for cats. If the cat is leaving those unwanted gifts near doorways, this can be like putting a big sign on the door saying, “MINE!” And that means that we’re dealing with some insecurity or a territorial dispute with another pet in the home. Even cats that have gotten along for years can suddenly have a falling out over territory.
  • Try to observe the cat (if you have your phone handy, try to record it) while it is doing its business. Does s/he seem to be in pain? Is s/he straining? Is s/he looking around or appearing paranoid? Note any clues you see. Even if you don’t see anything out of the ordinary, go ahead and write down what happened. Every move you remember the cat making. If you recorded it, watch it back, writing down what happened in a play-by-play. This will help your mind work on the problem. Maybe you didn’t realize something at the time, but it might click later. And if a second trip to the vet is necessary, or the vet visit is scheduled several days away, make sure to take any notes or video you have to the appointment.
  • Outer doorways are also places of power. If s/he’s using the outer walls or places near windows and exterior doors, this likely means that someone or something out there is what’s bothering him, and he feels the need to mark his territory. This is also a sign of insecurity, but likely due to things happening outside, although I have seen some cases of this when the source of stress is separation anxiety. It’s not as common (the pooping and peeing on outer doors and windows aspect, separation anxiety itself is fairly common, especially with a new family), but it does happen.
  • When cats urinate/defecate on personal items like laundry, bedding, your favorite spot on the couch, etc., people often incorrectly attribute it to the cat being vindictive. Cats don’t think like that. But if s/he’s soiling these spots, it’s because s/he’s insecure about his place in the family. S/he wants so badly to let everyone know that you are a part of his/her family. Your scent is the strongest on your things, and s/he’s insecure, so s/he’s going to want to mix his/her smell with yours.
  • HOWEVER, if all the places he’s peeing are soft places (laundry, bedding, soft furniture), this could also be indicative of a urinary tract issue. The pain is sharp, so they think that the pain is caused by where they are peeing. If you’re a cat, you want to counteract that sharp pain with soft things. So you pee on the bed, the laundry, the plush bathroom rug, etc.

2. Did s/he sometimes use the litter box after that first out-of-the-box foray, or is this a full strike of the litter box?

  • If s/he’s using it sometimes and not others, pay close attention to what is going on when s/he’s doing his/her business both in and out of the box. If it’s not clear, mark each spot with a sticker or colorful tape (write the time and date on it) until you see the pattern emerge. This is critical data.

3. Does s/he have options? One litter box isn’t enough. Your cat needs at least two. If you have more than one cat, a good rule of thumb is number of cats plus one. So, if you have 3 cats, that means 4 litter boxes.

Part Four: Solutions

You’ve taken your cat to the vet, you’ve gathered data, and now you’re going to take all that data and figure out a plan.

1. In the areas where your cat is usually doing its business, put down small litter boxes. You might begin with a dozen or just a few, depending on how many places your cat is doing its business. Put down a couple puppy pads around each small littler box and check them frequently to keep track of progress. For areas where you can’t put down a litter box, use a puppy pad or restrict access.

  • Try a variety of different litters (cedar, sand, soil, etc.). You may find that your cat simply prefers another kind of litter.
  • Reward success immediately using whatever motivates your cat (treats, toys, affection, etc.). NEVER punish a cat for failure to use the litter. The cat doesn’t think like humans, and it will likely make the situation much worse. Cats will refuse to return to a place where they have been punished, and if the cat was punished near the litter, bye-bye progress, hello stinky carpet. They don’t see their actions as either good or bad, which is why punishment never works.
  • Stay positive. The last thing the situation needs is more stress. It’s a distressing situation already, so do your best to keep things on track. If you have a setback, take a time out and then begin again.
  • Keep lids off the litter boxes. You want kitty to have an open invitation to use the litter.
  • Scoop the litter daily, change the liner and puppy pads if needed, but try to avoid using completely fresh litter when possible.

2. If there are no specific places where your cat is doing its business (this is extremely rare, especially if the vet finds nothing wrong with your cat), you’re going to need to designate a room and keep your cat in there with at least one litter box (number of litter boxes should depend on the room size. As many as you can fit without being ridiculous about it). The room should be small, but not a closet or tiny bathroom. The idea here is to give kitty only one option. Make sure bedding, food, and water are away from the litter box.

3. If you think the problem may be with animals outside, pick up some animal deterrents for your yard at your local hardware store (lawn and garden section). In this case, it’s best if the cat is unable to see the ground outside, but they should be able to watch birds and get some sunlight, so tape something over the lower portion of the window.

4. More specific problems (health issues, separation anxiety, etc.) will require treatment for the specific problem. Once you deal with the main issue, your cat may or may not require litter re-training (items 1 & 2).

5. If none of this is working, it’s time for a second opinion. Call around to find a vet that is willing to work with you to find out what’s going on. Look for a vet that makes house calls. Further tests may be needed at this point.

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WW Q&A: Are Cats Plotting Against Us?

It’s another Wacky Wednesday, so here’s our wacky question of the week:

Q: Do cats plot to overthrow their human masters?

A: This is a fun question, and I do appreciate the fun/silly factor. However, I’m going to answer this one factually, since that’s what I do.

Cats generally see as as equals, not superior (like dogs see us) or inferior (like 80% of cat memes would have you believe).

Cats are highly intelligent, empathetic beings. Cats have best friends. The best friend can be another cat, a human, a dog, or another animal the cat is close with. If the cat is your only pet, and you are its only/favorite human, then chances are that you are the cat’s best friend. If not, you are probably in what it considers its family group, which is its best friend as well as others who live in its territory that it likes to hang out with.

Cats can be very protective of their friends/family. There are thousands of examples of cats risking life and limb to try to save a friend/family member (human, cat, or other animal).

They realize that there are things that they can do that we cannot. They also realize that we can do things that they cannot (such as opening cans, getting treats, etc.), and they are able to appreciate the mutual benefit that occurs between themselves and humans.

So, to sum up, cats don’t think we’re their masters, so there is no one to overthrow.

Q&A Midnight Terror

Q: How do I get my cat to fall asleep at night?

A: What time are you wanting the cat to sleep? Is it waking you up in the early hours, not sleeping when you go to bed, or something else? How old is the cat? How long has this been going on? The details really matter here. Without them, I can only cover generalities.

Cats sleep (usually a light doze) most of the day and night, and are active at dusk and dawn, which makes them crepuscular, not nocturnal.

If your cat is spending most of the day or night awake, then it is likely suffering from feline insomnia, and you need to get the cat to the vet. There are many issues that cause insomnia, especially in young cats (<3 years), but it can happen at any age. The older the cat, the more urgent it is to seek vet care for feline insomnia. It carries several health risks, both short and long-term.

Adult cats sleep 14–16 hours on average. Seniors and kittens sleep a little more than that. The average adult cat is only lightly dozing for 75% of that time, with the remaining 25% in deeper stages of sleep. Seniors and kittens spend much more time, 40–60% of sleeping time, in deeper sleep.

In nature, predators sleep more than prey. They don’t have to spend all day eating plants in order to get the energy they need, so they reserve their energy for hunting.

Since cats are crepuscular, they are most active during dusk and dawn, but many house cats will change their sleep schedule to work around their human’s sleep schedule. You should not encourage this behavior, though. It can lead to obesity, cardiac issues, stroke, and over a period of years, can increase your cat’s chance of dementia later in life.

If this issue is just a matter of the cat making noise as you’re trying to get to sleep, then here’s what you should do:

Play with the cat until it is exhausted. We’re talking panting heavily, completely worn out kitty. Like this (it should be noted that this was the second time in half an hour that Stiles did this. We only filmed the second one):

Then feed the cat. After all that play and food, kitty will be primed for a loooong nap.

Establish a routine, and stick with it every night. Have a schedule to do everything at the same time. Your bedtime routine will help the cat prepare itself for sleep as well, even if most of your routine (brushing teeth, locking the doors, putting on your pajamas, etc.) doesn’t include the cat. They are very observant, and they will pick up on it very quickly.

Similarly, have a routine in the morning. If you have time to play with the cat before you go about your day, you should do so. At least 15 minutes 2x a day is the minimum exercise requirement for an adult cat. Younger kitties will need much more. When they aren’t sleeping or eating, they should be playing. That’s how their brains are wired.

RCRS: Stiles, Part 2

Continuing from Part 1, where I explained how we came to keep Stiles, and his relationships with our other cats…

Kiki loves elephants and whales, and especially loves watching them if David Attenborough is narrating. She taught Stiles this love of whales, elephants, and David Attenborough from an early age.

He’s particularly fond of baby elephants. He hops up on my desk to watch the You Tube videos (I made a playlist for him), and he has one favorite that is a minute long, and he makes this urgent fussy noise when it ends, and makes me start it over, and over, and over…

He plays fetch and catch, and has since he was big enough to fit a toy in his mouth. And he’s also learning to fly.

He loves all sorts of games, and his intelligence never fails to impress. But even more astounding is his capacity for empathy. Just like his mother seemed to know how to get along with each one of our cats, as well as how to win over humans, Stiles has shown those abilities and more.

If anyone in the house is upset, Stiles must investigate. Whether it’s a human-cat interaction, a cat-cat interaction, or someone is just upset, he wants to make it better.

Kagetora is terrified of men. If my brother is coming over, I try to remember to put Kagetora in my room so that he doesn’t get upset. It doesn’t matter that my brother is a cat lover, and wouldn’t even raise his voice to a cat. Kagetora’s fear was learned during those years he spent as a stray.

Once, I didn’t put Kagetora in my room before my bro stopped by. I went into the kitchen to get something and heard a hiss. I looked over, and Stiles was already there. Stiles saw that Kagetora was upset, but also understands that my brother is a good human, so he simply put himself between Kagetora and my brother so that Kagetora wouldn’t feel so threatened. It worked.

But he doesn’t just understand cat behavior and emotions, he has shown an amazing understanding of human emotion as well.

If I cry, he comes running, jumps in my lap, licks my face, and then, depending on if they are happy tears, sad tears, in pain tears, angry tears, frustrated tears, or fake tears, he will respond in different ways.

He’s the most amazing cat I’ve ever known. Here’s how he reacts depending on my mood:

  • Pain: He’ll start purring really loudly and lay on my abdomen (I have chronic pain due to abdominal adhesions, and the warmth and vibration of his purring is better at relieving my pain than any drug).
  • Sad: He’ll make these little consoling noises, and then he’ll cuddle up on my chest, purring. He’ll watch me very closely. As soon as I calm down, he’ll tuck his head under my chin and stay there for as long as I need him.
  • Frustrated: After licking my face, he’ll lean back and look at me, then he’ll hop down and go get one of his toys, then drag it into the room and place it at my feet so I will play with him. It really does make me forget about my frustrations.
  • Angry: He does the lean back, then he starts chattering at me, hops down, and starts acting like a total goofball, doing flips, jumping, and just being hilarious. It always works.
  • Fake: I have tried doing fake crying to see what he’ll do. Once he licks my face, he sighs, hops down, and goes back to whatever he was doing before.

All that had been going on since he was about 6 months old. When he was about 15 months old, I was binge watching one of my shows, and I got all emotional during a particularly poignant scene.  Next thing I know, Stiles had jumped in my lap, did the tear sniff, the face lick, but then he did something new.

Sitting in my lap, he tilted his head, raised a paw, pressed it against me just above my clavicle (collar bone) and slowly let it rub against me as it lowered about 3 inches, then he lifted his paw and pressed it against me just above the clavicle again, let it slide down, then he did it again. And again. He watched me very carefully as he did this. At first, I just smiled.

It took me a minute to figure out that he was petting me.

It was so amazing! I started laughing and telling him what a good boy he is. He has since worked the petting into his routine for when I’m sad or in pain. Every time he does it, I feel like I’ve just seen a dancing unicorn or had a conversation with a dragon.

He is so insanely smart and empathetic. He isn’t just highly empathetic with me. He’s like this with my daughter and our other cats as well. We’ll get into more specifics about feline empathy later. For now, just enjoy the AWW!

Here he is petting me:

That’s all for this week!

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