Tag Archives: rescue

Q&A: Can Cats Become Affectionate?

Q: I adopted a stray cat a couple months ago. The only thing is that he doesn’t seem to like me at all: he doesn’t like it when I pet him (he attacks me most of the time), he completely ignores me (except when he’s hungry, then he will rub against my legs), and he won’t sit on my lap. Will he ever change?

A: First of all, thank you for adopting him! And whatever you do, do not take his rebuffs of your attempts at affection personally.

Cats generally get more affectionate as they build a bond with you over time. The best way to bond with a cat, especially a young cat, is through play. If you find games he likes to play, that’s gold. Make sure to let him get the toy often, and praise him when he does.

Cats can also have a number of reasons they don’t want to be touched: if they’re in the mood for play or are agitated, in pain, have been hurt by humans before, or they just don’t know you that well. Strays are often mistreated, and it can take awhile for them to realize that not all humans are bad.

If he’s learning house rules, never yell at him. Offer alternatives. If he’s climbing somewhere he isn’t supposed to be, gently move him to a cat tree or something he can climb, and then praise him like it was all his idea. Give him praise and a treat (even if it’s just some kibble) when he uses those alternatives.

Always reward success. Never yell. Never punish. Cats don’t understand punishment. It only erodes trust, and makes them think you’re emotionally unstable, and that’s a massive setback. It makes everything worse. See my previous post for more information about why you should never yell at or punish a cat.

Also just spend time near him. Just in the same room, doing a quiet activity. Read a book, play a game on your tablet or phone, even watching TV (lower the volume, turn on captions if you need to), and just let him get comfortable with your presence, and observe you at a safe distance.

He’ll warm up with patience, play, and time. Once he figures out that he can trust you, that you care about him, he’ll start to warm up. Some cats take years to get to the cuddle phase, some only take weeks. It depends on personality, as well as their history. If he has been abused in the past, he may take awhile. But if you put in the time, it will pay off.

Thank you for adopting him. Good luck to you both!

Q&A: What to Do When Kitty Stops Using the Litter Box

Q: My cat stopped using the litter box. What do I do?

A:  This is a problem I’m thoroughly familiar with, so this is going to be as detailed as possible because anyone who owns a cat, or is thinking of owning a cat, needs to learn how to think like a cat. Too many cats are euthanized every day in this country because people don’t want to take the time to work with the animal and gain a deeper understanding of their furry friend, which can lead to a much deeper connection that will benefit everyone involved.

Part One: Know What You Know, and Know When That Knowledge Isn’t Enough

Congratulations! Step one is already done. If you don’t know what to do, ask for help. You’ll probably get tons of different advice, and that’s a good thing, because there are so many different reasons that cats might display a single behavior. The worst thing a kitty caretaker can do is approach any problem as if there is only one way to solve it, and if that doesn’t work, they give up and declare the cat a lost cause. This is rarely ever the case. I have yet to meet a lost cause kitty. Cats are complex beings, just like people. And you can’t just sit down with a family therapist to talk it out. So, how do we figure this out?

Before we go any farther, you need to take your cat to the vet. There is a very good chance that this is due to a physical problem. Spaying/neutering, if not already done, should be your first order of business. There can be any number of health-related causes. Cats often don’t show any outward signs of pain or illness, and when they do, it often appears as what seems like odd, aberrant behavior to the observing humans. If your cat is suddenly acting differently, especially with litter habits, something is wrong. Pain (a hurt paw, UTI, constipation, or even just a bit of litter digging into the paw) is a leading cause of this type of behavior.

If you have a new cat that has never used the litter box, skip to Part Four: Solutions.

Part Two: Work Out the Timeline of Events Before and During the Problem

The second step is to try to work out the initial trigger for the behavior. This won’t always work, but the closer you can get to the reason, the faster you’ll get results. What was going on around the first time the cat didn’t use the litter box? The obvious place to start is: what changed? Cats know when we’re stressed, they know when we’re sick, and major disruptions in the household can cause the cat’s sense of security to falter, and that leads to problematic behavior. Other indicators of this could be a change in personality (is s/he more needy or standoffish? Is s/he displaying more sensitivity to noise, people coming and going, or showing signs of aggression or fear?).

If that doesn’t seem to be the case, try to think of something that may have startled or scared the cat while it was using the litter box: another pet, a loud noise (passing truck, someone shouting, a dog barking, etc.), the smell of another animal (if you’ve got cats outside, the cat inside will be able to smell any marking that’s going on around the perimeter of the house, you may also have tracked in some animal scent), or seeing another animal from a window or doorway. Third, a dirty litter box; all of these things can create a negative association with the litter box. Sometimes there is no clear answer, so you have to do some detective work.

Part Three: Gather Data

1. Where is the cat doing its business? Are there one or two consistent spots, or is it all over the place?

  • If s/he has a few spots he likes, figure out why those spots are significant to him/her. For example, interior doorways (bedrooms, halls, etc.) are places of power for cats. If the cat is leaving those unwanted gifts near doorways, this can be like putting a big sign on the door saying, “MINE!” And that means that we’re dealing with some insecurity or a territorial dispute with another pet in the home. Even cats that have gotten along for years can suddenly have a falling out over territory.
  • Try to observe the cat (if you have your phone handy, try to record it) while it is doing its business. Does s/he seem to be in pain? Is s/he straining? Is s/he looking around or appearing paranoid? Note any clues you see. Even if you don’t see anything out of the ordinary, go ahead and write down what happened. Every move you remember the cat making. If you recorded it, watch it back, writing down what happened in a play-by-play. This will help your mind work on the problem. Maybe you didn’t realize something at the time, but it might click later. And if a second trip to the vet is necessary, or the vet visit is scheduled several days away, make sure to take any notes or video you have to the appointment.
  • Outer doorways are also places of power. If s/he’s using the outer walls or places near windows and exterior doors, this likely means that someone or something out there is what’s bothering him, and he feels the need to mark his territory. This is also a sign of insecurity, but likely due to things happening outside, although I have seen some cases of this when the source of stress is separation anxiety. It’s not as common (the pooping and peeing on outer doors and windows aspect, separation anxiety itself is fairly common, especially with a new family), but it does happen.
  • When cats urinate/defecate on personal items like laundry, bedding, your favorite spot on the couch, etc., people often incorrectly attribute it to the cat being vindictive. Cats don’t think like that. But if s/he’s soiling these spots, it’s because s/he’s insecure about his place in the family. S/he wants so badly to let everyone know that you are a part of his/her family. Your scent is the strongest on your things, and s/he’s insecure, so s/he’s going to want to mix his/her smell with yours.
  • HOWEVER, if all the places he’s peeing are soft places (laundry, bedding, soft furniture), this could also be indicative of a urinary tract issue. The pain is sharp, so they think that the pain is caused by where they are peeing. If you’re a cat, you want to counteract that sharp pain with soft things. So you pee on the bed, the laundry, the plush bathroom rug, etc.

2. Did s/he sometimes use the litter box after that first out-of-the-box foray, or is this a full strike of the litter box?

  • If s/he’s using it sometimes and not others, pay close attention to what is going on when s/he’s doing his/her business both in and out of the box. If it’s not clear, mark each spot with a sticker or colorful tape (write the time and date on it) until you see the pattern emerge. This is critical data.

3. Does s/he have options? One litter box isn’t enough. Your cat needs at least two. If you have more than one cat, a good rule of thumb is number of cats plus one. So, if you have 3 cats, that means 4 litter boxes.

Part Four: Solutions

You’ve taken your cat to the vet, you’ve gathered data, and now you’re going to take all that data and figure out a plan.

1. In the areas where your cat is usually doing its business, put down small litter boxes. You might begin with a dozen or just a few, depending on how many places your cat is doing its business. Put down a couple puppy pads around each small littler box and check them frequently to keep track of progress. For areas where you can’t put down a litter box, use a puppy pad or restrict access.

  • Try a variety of different litters (cedar, sand, soil, etc.). You may find that your cat simply prefers another kind of litter.
  • Reward success immediately using whatever motivates your cat (treats, toys, affection, etc.). NEVER punish a cat for failure to use the litter. The cat doesn’t think like humans, and it will likely make the situation much worse. Cats will refuse to return to a place where they have been punished, and if the cat was punished near the litter, bye-bye progress, hello stinky carpet. They don’t see their actions as either good or bad, which is why punishment never works.
  • Stay positive. The last thing the situation needs is more stress. It’s a distressing situation already, so do your best to keep things on track. If you have a setback, take a time out and then begin again.
  • Keep lids off the litter boxes. You want kitty to have an open invitation to use the litter.
  • Scoop the litter daily, change the liner and puppy pads if needed, but try to avoid using completely fresh litter when possible.

2. If there are no specific places where your cat is doing its business (this is extremely rare, especially if the vet finds nothing wrong with your cat), you’re going to need to designate a room and keep your cat in there with at least one litter box (number of litter boxes should depend on the room size. As many as you can fit without being ridiculous about it). The room should be small, but not a closet or tiny bathroom. The idea here is to give kitty only one option. Make sure bedding, food, and water are away from the litter box.

3. If you think the problem may be with animals outside, pick up some animal deterrents for your yard at your local hardware store (lawn and garden section). In this case, it’s best if the cat is unable to see the ground outside, but they should be able to watch birds and get some sunlight, so tape something over the lower portion of the window.

4. More specific problems (health issues, separation anxiety, etc.) will require treatment for the specific problem. Once you deal with the main issue, your cat may or may not require litter re-training (items 1 & 2).

5. If none of this is working, it’s time for a second opinion. Call around to find a vet that is willing to work with you to find out what’s going on. Look for a vet that makes house calls. Further tests may be needed at this point.

RCRS: Stiles, Part 2

Continuing from Part 1, where I explained how we came to keep Stiles, and his relationships with our other cats…

Kiki loves elephants and whales, and especially loves watching them if David Attenborough is narrating. She taught Stiles this love of whales, elephants, and David Attenborough from an early age.

He’s particularly fond of baby elephants. He hops up on my desk to watch the You Tube videos (I made a playlist for him), and he has one favorite that is a minute long, and he makes this urgent fussy noise when it ends, and makes me start it over, and over, and over…

He plays fetch and catch, and has since he was big enough to fit a toy in his mouth. And he’s also learning to fly.

He loves all sorts of games, and his intelligence never fails to impress. But even more astounding is his capacity for empathy. Just like his mother seemed to know how to get along with each one of our cats, as well as how to win over humans, Stiles has shown those abilities and more.

If anyone in the house is upset, Stiles must investigate. Whether it’s a human-cat interaction, a cat-cat interaction, or someone is just upset, he wants to make it better.

Kagetora is terrified of men. If my brother is coming over, I try to remember to put Kagetora in my room so that he doesn’t get upset. It doesn’t matter that my brother is a cat lover, and wouldn’t even raise his voice to a cat. Kagetora’s fear was learned during those years he spent as a stray.

Once, I didn’t put Kagetora in my room before my bro stopped by. I went into the kitchen to get something and heard a hiss. I looked over, and Stiles was already there. Stiles saw that Kagetora was upset, but also understands that my brother is a good human, so he simply put himself between Kagetora and my brother so that Kagetora wouldn’t feel so threatened. It worked.

But he doesn’t just understand cat behavior and emotions, he has shown an amazing understanding of human emotion as well.

If I cry, he comes running, jumps in my lap, licks my face, and then, depending on if they are happy tears, sad tears, in pain tears, angry tears, frustrated tears, or fake tears, he will respond in different ways.

He’s the most amazing cat I’ve ever known. Here’s how he reacts depending on my mood:

  • Pain: He’ll start purring really loudly and lay on my abdomen (I have chronic pain due to abdominal adhesions, and the warmth and vibration of his purring is better at relieving my pain than any drug).
  • Sad: He’ll make these little consoling noises, and then he’ll cuddle up on my chest, purring. He’ll watch me very closely. As soon as I calm down, he’ll tuck his head under my chin and stay there for as long as I need him.
  • Frustrated: After licking my face, he’ll lean back and look at me, then he’ll hop down and go get one of his toys, then drag it into the room and place it at my feet so I will play with him. It really does make me forget about my frustrations.
  • Angry: He does the lean back, then he starts chattering at me, hops down, and starts acting like a total goofball, doing flips, jumping, and just being hilarious. It always works.
  • Fake: I have tried doing fake crying to see what he’ll do. Once he licks my face, he sighs, hops down, and goes back to whatever he was doing before.

All that had been going on since he was about 6 months old. When he was about 15 months old, I was binge watching one of my shows, and I got all emotional during a particularly poignant scene.  Next thing I know, Stiles had jumped in my lap, did the tear sniff, the face lick, but then he did something new.

Sitting in my lap, he tilted his head, raised a paw, pressed it against me just above my clavicle (collar bone) and slowly let it rub against me as it lowered about 3 inches, then he lifted his paw and pressed it against me just above the clavicle again, let it slide down, then he did it again. And again. He watched me very carefully as he did this. At first, I just smiled.

It took me a minute to figure out that he was petting me.

It was so amazing! I started laughing and telling him what a good boy he is. He has since worked the petting into his routine for when I’m sad or in pain. Every time he does it, I feel like I’ve just seen a dancing unicorn or had a conversation with a dragon.

He is so insanely smart and empathetic. He isn’t just highly empathetic with me. He’s like this with my daughter and our other cats as well. We’ll get into more specifics about feline empathy later. For now, just enjoy the AWW!

Here he is petting me:

That’s all for this week!

RCRS: Stiles, Part 1

Today is Stiles’s 2nd birthday. I’ve tried so many different times to figure out how to tell Stiles’s story, and how much he has come to mean to me. I touched on his story a bit when I wrote about his mother, Freya, and also when I wrote about Kagetora. But those mentions barely scratch the surface.  I’m going to break this up into several parts since it would make a blog post that is way too long, and there is so much that I think is important to tell you about Stiles because he has taught me more in the 2 years he’s been alive than I learned in the decade before he came along.

I suppose I should begin at the beginning.

On January 27th, 2015, Bunny (AKA Freya, Bun Bun, Baby Bunny) kindly waited for me to wake up until she let me know that it was BABY TIME! Only she didn’t want to have her babies in the box in my closet, nor did she want them in the backup den I’d created. She insisted on having them under the vanity sink in my bedroom. I quickly grabbed a box, swept all the junk under there into it, grabbed a clean blanket (which was my daughter’s Elmo baby blanket), put it down, and Bun Bun got in there without a moment to spare. The babies were coming. I had hoped that, since she had only been 6 months old when she got preggers, that it would be a small litter. 3 or fewer would be ideal, but I thought I could handle 4.

I snapped this picture after kitten number 5 was born (and I was sure, as I had been after number 4, that it was over):

Bunny's Babies: Birthday

But, of course, it wasn’t over. Stiles was kitten #6. Such a huge litter for such a young mama. She handled it like a champ. Although I wanted to name him Spock (since he did a great little Spock impression), my daughter named him. Stiles was the only kitten that I didn’t have a say in the name. I didn’t plan on keeping any of them, so I didn’t think it really mattered.

When the kittens were 3-4 weeks old, Stiles got sick. My daughter and I had to feed him, and Kikiyo (our 11-year-old, who had been a young mother once herself) was happy to help cuddle and bathe him, as was Kagetora. My daughter and I slept opposite each other so that someone was always awake with him to keep him warm, fed, and to keep an eye out for any worsening symptoms. He pulled through, but we had all bonded with him so strongly, especially Kiki and Kagetora, and I couldn’t take him away from them. And, truth be told, I was very attached to him as well.

Kikiyo, Kagetora, and Stiles

A side note on his name: Although he didn’t get the name I wanted for him, I began calling him Mister on those long nights we spent cuddled up together when he was sick, watching Doctor Who. It’s a nod to Mister Spock, and I still call him Mister to this day (so does my daughter most of the time). All our cats have nicknames, so it’s normal for each cat to have several names in our house. Kagetora thinks his name is Baby. Kikiyo (whom we’ve had the longest) responds to Kiki, Kiku, and Baby Squeadle, as well as Squeable and Screeble (these things morph over time, and they tend to be situational as well). Kagome knows her name and she also knows Squeaker (and, of course, Baby Squeaker, even though she was an adult with very firm opinions when we adopted her).

Back to Baby Stiles. We knew early on (before he was 4 weeks old) that he had insomnia. That may sound ridiculous to you, but it isn’t. In fact, that wasn’t even the first time I’d seen a kitten with insomnia. Kiki had it pretty bad when she was young. She grew out of it around 3 years of age, and I hope that happens with Stiles. He gets enough REM sleep, but the light doze NREM sleep is what he misses out on. It’s linked with a fear of missing out (FOMO), and since he is hyper-social like his mama, it’s worse for him than it was for Kiki. He’ll sleep on me while I watch TV, so I now watch TV for a few hours every day just so he gets an extra nap.

Here he is, wide awake while his siblings sleep: Shhhhh

Stiles has always been a special little guy. I knew he was smart early on (Bunny and all of her babies were smart, but Stiles was particularly intelligent, as was Cleo).

After he started recovering from being sick, he had gone from second largest kitten (Bucky was always the biggest) to the smallest kitten. Even smaller than the 3 of his siblings (Steve, Cleo, and Kiri) that were estimated to be 2 full weeks younger than the other 3 (Stiles, Bucky, Juno). When he started feeling good enough to play again, he would hide in my daughter’s lap as she sat cross-legged on the floor, and pop up to ambush his siblings during play time. And if things got too rough, he’d pop back down to safety.

We moved to Michigan when he was just old enough to be away from his mother, but with a strong enough bond with Kiki and Kagetora that I felt that he would be okay learning his manners with them. He was also used to formula by then, and was eating mostly solid food, so it all worked out well.

He did better than expected during the journey from Oklahoma to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In fact, he did much better than the adult cats. He was curious about everything. But he also got a lot of sleep during those 2 traveling days. He curled up mostly with Kiki, but cuddled with Kagetora as well.

Next time, I’ll fill you in on the games he has made up, how he shows incredible empathy and intelligence, and how we bonded with him so strongly.

Read Part 2!

Part 3 (Coming soon)

Why Cats vs. Dogs Is a Stupid Debate

Since long before the internet became a thing we all depend on, there has been this debate raging. Every time I think maybe we’ve all gotten over it, it comes up again: Which is better, cats or dogs?

I explained in my last post why this debate isn’t helpful:

Asking which one is better does not give us knowledge. It confuses the issue, and the facts get lost in the fog. And because there is no logical, objective answer to this question, it leaves people feeling vulnerable, and thus they are likely to get overly emotional (also because we love our pets a great deal). When has a lack of logic, plus overly emotional people, ever equaled positive discourse on the internet?

And now I would like to address people who hate either dogs or cats because they love the other one. If you are not one of these people, you are excused, and may go on with your day. I’m not talking about personal choice of pet. If you want to say you prefer to have a dog, or you prefer to have a cat, or hamster, or ferret, or skunk…whatever it is, that’s okay. I’m not talking about you.

I am so, so tired of people having these stupid debates about which one is better. If you’re one of these people, let me ask you something: Do you like elephants? Does that make you hate zebras? When you go to the zoo, do you go and look at just one animal? Does seeing meerkats frolic and play somehow diminish your enjoyment of cheetahs? If so, you might have a problem. A problem with logic, surely, but possibly a mental one as well.

I like dogs. I like cats. I understand cats and dogs for the most part. Cats can be harder to understand if you aren’t in the habit of thinking too deeply about pets. I get that. You actually have to try to think like a cat, to empathize with them. Most people can’t even put themselves in another human’s shoes, much less empathize with another species. I get that. But they are very social, highly intelligent creatures that can show just as much (and sometimes more) affection as our canine friends.

So, just understand that when I see you talking about how dogs are better than cats or cats are better than dogs, I see an imbecile talking about how hamsters are THE BEST! THE BEST! AND THAT’S WHY FERRETS SUCK!!!!

Do you have cats and dogs? How do they get along? Tell us your stories! Leave a comment or email us at stories at littlecatdiaries dot com!

Kitten Trapped in Storm Drain Rescued after 96 Hours!

This video from Cole & Marmalade‘s channel shows Cali the kitten was trapped in a storm drain for 96 hours until the efforts of Sierra Pacific FurBabies, a non profit rescue organization in CA, finally paid off!

For more on this story, you can read the article here. For more on Cole and Marmalade, you can visit their site here.

RCRS: Freya the Amazing

Real Cats, Real Stories is a little segment we like to do to highlight the felines who have overcome the odds, who have touched our hearts, and who have shown us that they are so much more than internet memes make them out to be. If you have a story about a cat that you’d like to share, send it to us! (stories at littlecatdiaries.com)

Back in November of 2015, a little kitty followed my daughter home (cats love her, always have, and that’s how we got 3 of our 4 cats). This kitty was about 6 months old, and just so pretty. I thought we’d take her in, try to find her owners or a new home after we got her spayed. By the time we had the money to get her spayed and her shots, and all that good stuff, it was obvious she was already pregnant. We hadn’t let her out, so she was pregnant when she followed my daughter home. I had never seen such a young cat get pregnant.

We named her Freya, but soon just called her Bunny, which devolved into Bun-Bun because she was an impressive jumper.

Freya (Bunny)
She had the power of Sad Eyes, which is irresistible.

The day we took her in, she made instant friends with our then 6-year-old male. Our two female cats (then 17 and 10) had a truce going, but they weren’t buds. Bunny knew exactly how to act to make friends with them. She would go up to them (not too close), and flop down on her side, purring and friendly, and she soon became better friends with all our cats than they were with each other. It was amazing.

As her due date got closer, she slept with me, so I would be there when she went into labor. On the morning of January 27, 2015, she thoughtfully waited until I woke up to inform me that the babies were on their way. She wanted to have them under my vanity sink instead of the box or the closet where I had set up places, so I grabbed a box, took all the stuff out of the cabinet, and put down a clean towel just in time for her to have kitten #1.

She had 6 kittens in all, which is a HUGE litter, especially for a very young, first time momma. I took this picture after kitten #5, thinking that was the end of it. Nope! Stiles came into the world about 5 minutes later.

Bunny's Babies: Birthday

There were a lot of amazing things about Bunny and her kittens. The first was how young she was, then there’s the large litter she had, but one of the most stunning things was that 3 of the kittens appeared to be younger than their siblings by about 2 weeks.

I had heard of kittens in a single litter being younger than their littermates, but I had never seen it before Bunny had her babies. Since she had gone into heat at a very early age, and littermates can have different fathers, it sometimes happens that very young cats can go into heat even in the first weeks of pregnancy. It’s not common for the difference in age to be more than a few days, but Bunny was special in a lot of ways.

Each kitten looked different: Bucky (the biggest) is an orange tabby, Stiles is a grey tabby with white splotches, Juno (Bunny Junior) looks a lot like her mother, Steve was an albino, Cleo is a stunning calico, and Kiri has beautiful seal point coloring (like a Siamese). Stiles, Cleo, and Kiri also have the beautiful medium-length fur that Bunny has. Stiles’s fur lays flat, but his little sisters are very fluffy. Like Bunny, they are also amazingly soft.

Bunny was a great mother, especially considering her age. She was attentive, but since she was extremely social, she was fine with us helping out, and she was also happy to have Kiki and Kagetora help her bathe the kittens. It was very much a group effort. I’ll add more details about this in my post about Stiles.

We found homes for all the kittens except Juno, so when she was old enough, she went to the Tulsa SPCA with Freya. For reasons I’m not clear on, the SPCA renamed Freya to Deliah. I know Juno was adopted quickly because she never appeared on their website, but Freya was there for several weeks. We had moved to a different state, so I felt helpless every time I checked and saw that she was still there, but she did eventually find a home.

I miss her like crazy, but I know she’s out there somewhere, being loved and pampered, just as she deserves. I see her in Stiles’s face and eyes all the time. My sister and niece adopted Cleo and Kiri, and I see Freya in them (especially Cleo) when my sister sends pictures.

She changed my life, and many of the ways I think about cats. Her empathy and intelligence, passed on to her babies as well, continues to change and shape not only my life, but the lives of the people and cats that I strive to help. If I believed in fate, I would surely believe that some special magic brought her into our lives to teach us things that I’m still learning.

Wherever you are, my sweet Bun Bun, I love you, and I think of you often. Thank you.